Masturbation May: Myths, Tips and Staff Picks!
It’s finally one of our favorite times of the year: Masturbation May! The weather’s getting warmer, the days are getting longer, and the toys are getting charged, baby! For a basic rundown on what Masturbation May is all about and the benefits of self-pleasure, check out 2023’s comprehensive guide, which covers topics such as mindful masturbation and different toy shapes and their functions as well as toys for mutual masturbation with a partner.
This year we’re delving into and debunking dangerous (and downright silly) masturbation myths and providing pro-tips on how to level up your self-pleasure practice. We’re also featuring our annual selection of Pleasure Chest staff picks! These sex toys and accessories have been chosen by the best in sex ed, so be sure to take a look and see if anything inspires you to improve and explore your masturbation routine. Let’s get into it!
Masturbation Myths
Myth #1: Masturbating is bad for your health.
Nope! On the contrary, masturbation has plenty of health benefits including reducing stress, improving sleep quality, providing pain relief and even boosting your mood. There are even studies that show regular masturbation can improve your body’s immune response. Of course, there are caveats that may undermine the health benefits of masturbation such as how frequently and rigorously your self-pleasure practice is. If you masturbate intensely multiple times a day, for example, you may feel sore afterwards and might need to give your body a break. You also want to make sure you’re using proper hygiene during your routine, such as washing your hands and your toys properly before and after use, to prevent experiencing unintended side effects. But masturbation itself is not unhealthy in the least!
Myth #2: Women don’t masturbate.
This myth is an old one that has unfortunately stuck around but given the rise in the popularity of vibrators among all gender identities and women especially, we hope it’s clear that this one is simply untrue. Everyone who can and is interested in masturbating does so regardless of gender.
Myth #3: People in relationships don’t masturbate.
People in all types of relationships masturbate! And sometimes they even masturbate together in a fun and intimate practice called mutual masturbation. Just because a person is in a relationship and they have sex with their partner(s), that doesn’t mean they don’t and shouldn’t self-pleasure from time to time. And although there is shame attached to the stigma of masturbating while in a sexually active relationship, there definitely shouldn’t be! It’s normal to masturbate whether or not you have a partner.
Myth #4: Masturbating causes desensitization.
This one is mostly untrue but it does depend, as stated earlier, on the frequency and rigorousness of your self-pleasure sessions. For example, if you use a powerful sex toy like the Magic Wand when you masturbate and you use it multiple times a day, it might be difficult for you to achieve an orgasm with less intense stimulation from a partner’s hand. However, that so-called ‘desensitization’ can be minimized by simply taking a break from that consistent intensity. Your original sensitivity levels should return to normal after a tolerance break, just like when you take a break from coffee. There’s no need to fear an outcome of permanent desensitization.
Self-Pleasure Pro-Tips
Pro-Tip #1: Use lube
Many people think of using lube only when it comes to penetrative play or sex with a partner, but lube can be a welcome addition to self-pleasure too whether you’re using an internal toy or not. Adding lubricant to the opening of a suction toy helps it stick to the skin better and can feel more comfortable. Using lube on just your fingers without a toy allows your hands to move more freely and with less unwanted friction. There are even lubricants that provide warming, tingling and arousing sensations to take your self-pleasure to the next level!
Pro-Tip #2: Try edging
Edging is the practice of bringing yourself (or a partner) right to the edge of orgasm (hence the term edging) then stopping stimulation altogether. After a beat, you build the orgasm back up again, which is at this point a little closer to the moment of release. Doing this over and over again for as long as you can stand it makes for a very intense and drawn-out masturbation session! For more information on edging and other types of orgasms, go to this blog from our archives.
Pro-Tip #3: Build anticipation
Instead of getting right to it, why not try taking a more romantic approach to self-pleasure? Try seducing yourself. Build anticipation throughout the day by wearing clothes that make you feel sexy, sending a spicy text, or maybe even wearing a discreet vibrator under your outfit. Light candles, run a bath, play relaxing music. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good and allows you to indulge in your senses before even getting to the touching part. Once you’re ready to start, you might be surprised at how aroused you were able to get leading up to the big finale!
Pro-Tip #4: Use a new toy
This one is a tried-and-true recommendation, especially if none of your toys (or hands) satisfy you any longer. Before purchasing a new toy, you can try using two of your toys at once! Or breaking out an old favorite you haven't revisited in a while. If you feel like you have enough sex toys already, try incorporating more sensory experiences like adding a blindfold or trying temperature play. If all else fails, the Pleasure Chest if full of items to help you rebuild excitement in your self-pleasure practice!
Pleasure Chest Staff Picks
Ready for some recommendations? The following items are highly regarded staff picks from some of the Pleasure Chest educators who run our shops. If you want a sex toy that is personally suggested to you by folks who know what they’re talking about, these are the ones to choose from!
Kody | they/them | Chicago store
Womanizer Pleasure Air Rose | $47.20 | Learn More
I love the sensation of Womanizer toys more than other air pulsation toys I’ve tried, because they can feel both gentle or strong. The circle shape of the head is ideal for targeted sensation on smaller clits, but can also be fun to use on nipples! For even more versatility, you can remove the tip of this rose and use it as a tapping vibrator!
b-Vibe Weighted Snug Plug | $58.95 | Learn More
My Snug Plug 2 is one of my favorite plugs in my collection. The thin stem makes it super comfortable for longer-term wear. The Snug Plug 1 is great for beginners, but all the other sizes have twp steel weights inside, which means that when you’re thrusting, grinding, or walking around, the weights shake and create a thrusting sensation. Silicone is easy to sanitize, which means you can also have fun using them vaginally!
Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle | $13.95 | Learn More
My go-to water-based lube! This lube checks a lot of my boxes as it’s great for sensitive skin, vegan/cruelty-free, and safe for all toys. The jelle formula contains aloe vera and is a thick, non-sticky consistency, making it long lasting, and great for both anal and vaginal play.
Brittany | she/her | Chicago store
Love To Love Wonderlover Dual Stimulator | $160.95 | Learn More
This beauty is STRONG in vibration and air pulse! Great for solo play with the remote and it gives an intense blended orgasmic experience.
Heart of Glass Anal Tool | $41.95 | Learn More
This is beautifully crafted and great for temperature play. Also it reminds me of Sailor Moon!
LeNair | he/him | New York stores
Romp Dash Stroker | $35.95 | Learn More
For its size, Dash by Romp is inexpensive, but of great quality and well-textured. And the screw-off base allows for awesome suction play.
Aneros Helix Syn Trident | $76.95 | Learn More
Helix Syn is great for play on its own, giving backdoor stimulation while playing with the front. And if that seems like jumping the gun, then know it is great to train the body to do all of the aforementioned.
Cyclone Triple Chamber Stroker | $27.95 | Learn More
Quite underrated and misunderstood, the Cyclone Triple Chamber Stroker has exactly what its name says... three chambers. Thereby allowing one to experience the pleasure of three textures within a single masturbation session.
Lelo Ina Wave 2 Come Hither Vibrating Rabbit | $199.00 | Learn More
While marketed to female-bodied people, I found it great for the prostate. The difference between it and its marketed-for-male counterpart, the Loki Wave, is how one wants the clit or taint stimulated. My preference for thinner on the taint is why I choose the Ina Wave.
IonaPearl | they/them | Los Angeles Office
Magic Wand Mini Rechargeable Wand Vibrator | $97.95 | Learn More
At first, I was skeptical of the Magic Wand Mini. I love the full-size Magic Wand Rechargeable, and I just couldn't quite warm up to the Mini. Then I took it on a trip so that I would be "forced" to use it consistently, and DAMN. I've grown to like using it when I want more of a warm up, and I love that it has plus and minus buttons so I can escalate and de-escalate when using it to tease a partner. Definitely my favorite mini wand.
Biird Kalii Glass G-Spot Dildo | $62.95 | Learn More
The presentation of Biird products is so superb. The box is so giftable, it's like presenting yourself with a present! The Kalii comes with a luxurious storage case, and a cleaning and care manual. I'm sometimes iffy about glass toys, but the Kalii has such a perfect shape that hooks against the G-spot with ease. I love feeling it warm to my/a partner's body temperature, and cooling it down to run along someone's body and watch them squirm is so delectable. If you're nervous but curious about glass toys, the Kalii is a great place to start.
Scandal Silicone Stopper Gag | $23.95 | Learn More
I'm a sucker for a fully silicone gag! I love that the whole thing can be fully sanitized so I can share it with multiple partners. The strap has notches so it doesn't slide out of place after you've locked it in place, and the chain stopper is quite sturdy. I love how easily the stopper fits snugly in place, and being able to quickly give or deprive a sub of freedom of their mouth is so. much. fun! Great for incorporating with scent play.
Pjur Infinity Silicone Lubricant | $33.95 | Learn More
Pjur is my go-to silicone brand, and I love the Infinity Silicone because it's slick and highly concentrated. The Infinity Silicone, or the Med Premium Silicone are two of my favorite recommendations for silicone lubricants. The Infinity Silicone bottle looks expensive on my nightstand and the pump is so convenient.
