Choosing a Material

Dildos come in a variety of materials, from plastic, rubber and silicone to wood, glass and stainless steel. Each material offers its own unique sensation and there are strengths to each type of toy. The most affordable dildos are often made of plastic or rubber. Some types of rubber, especially those made from Cyberskin, can feel amazingly soft and lifelike. The Cybercock Dildo is a great introduction to the benefits of Cyberskin. Because plastic and rubber are porous, you’ll want to use a condom if you plan to share these toys with a partner.

The most popular dildos are made from silicone, which is non-porous, pliable and very easy to clean. Silicone toys tend to be more expensive than rubber or plastic, but if you take care of them, they can last a lot longer. They’re also fine for use with multiple partners. They can be sterilized in boiling water and most brands are dishwasher safe.

Toys made from glass and stainless steel are great if you’re looking for a firmer sensation. Both are also ideal for enhancing your experience with temperature play. Simply put your dildo in the freezer to chill out or hold it under a warm tap to heat things up.

Realistic?

Some people crave a realistic look and feel in a dildo. Others prefer a non-phallic or modern design. This is a matter of personal taste, so there’s no right choice. Folks looking for realism might enjoy toys like the Tantus Adam which has a very soft silicone exterior with a firm inner core. When balls are a must, a fully-equipped dildo like the VixSkin Goodfella fits the bill. Porn fans will probably adore the Jeff Stryker Realistic Dildo or the James Deen Signature Silicone Vibrating Cock, both molded directly from their famous phalluses.

Or Not?

If you crave something less phallic, you’ll probably enjoy the smoothness of the Tantus Silk or the elegance of the Five Jules dildo, designed by lesbians, for lesbians.  For something more unique, Wet for Her offers the silicone Two Dildo modeled on a pair of extra-long fingers. Steel and glass toys offer even more options, from the hefty beauty of the Njoy Eleven to the smooth simplicity of the Glass Curved Wand.

Small, Medium or Ginormous?

Picking the wrong size dildo can be a costly mistake. Close your eyes and grasp one, two, three or more of your fingers at the same time and think about the size of things you have enjoyed inside of you in the past. You can also do this with a cucumber, zucchini or other phallic fruit or veggie. If you want to try out the size, you can use these items with a condom to ensure the perfect fit.

Every dildo on our site has a “Specs” section listing the toy’s dimensions. If you’re just getting started or like ‘em on the smaller side, try something like the Tantus Compact or the small Vixen Realistic. Smaller dildos are also great when you’re first trying anal intercourse.

If you’re looking for something in the middle, try the Vixen Leo or the medium Tantus Silk on for size.

And when only a big dildo will do the job, check out the mighty Vixskin Maverick or the 7.5” Captain. If girth is more important than length, you might feel cozy with the Tantus Mr. Universe or the Vixen Randy.

Do You Want to Strap It On?

If you’re planning to strap it on, then you should pick a dildo that works with a harness. Anything with a wide base or balls should work, though some very large dildos might not fit your harnesses’ O-ring. If strapping it on its important, check this page for an assortment of dildos we’ve approved for harness play.

If you’re new to strapping it on, pick a dildo with a little extra length to keep it from slipping out. A dildo with a ridged head like the Vixen Woody or the VixSkin Maverick will help the wearer in sensing depth to avoid slippage.

Finally, when picking dildos with a partner, here’s a good rule of thumb: the person wearing the cock should pick the look of it (realistic, color, balls, etc) and the person receiving should pick the size. Everybody’s happy.

How Do You Feel About Vibration?

Want to add a little buzz to the action? Some dildos, like the Vixen Mistress and the Tantus Buzz come with removable bullet vibrators. On a budget? The rubber Basix 8” Vibrating Dong comes with a handy wired remote. If you’re not satisfied with the vibe that comes with your dildo, swap it out for something stronger. The We-Vibe Tango is one of the strongest bullet vibes we’ve ever tried.

Remember that even if your dildo doesn’t come with vibration, you can always add vibration when strapping it on. When strapping it on, ask yourself who wants the vibration: the wearer or receiver? And where do you want the vibration, internally or externally?

If the wearer wants direct vibration externally, the Tantus Panty Play vibrator is an excellent fit, as it can be worn under the harness. Some harnesses like the SpareParts Joque even come with hidden pockets for positioning a vibe at the base of the dildo. You can make any dildo vibrate with a vibrating cockring, and when positioned right, it should hit the clit of the wearer. If you want stronger vibration, pick a dildo with a vibrator in it and select a separate vibrating cockring.

Packing Dildos

Whether for gender expression or fantasy play, some folks prefer to pack. If you want a realistic bulge that can still be worn under clothing, take a look at the Sailor Softskin Packer or Vixskin Mr. Right. Worn with a packing strap or packing underwear like the SpareParts Pete, these are ideal for daily wear.

The Angle of the Dangle

Where do you want that dildo to reach? If you want to stimulate a G-Spot or P-Spot, then your best bet is a dildo with a shaft that curves upward. Some toys, like the Tantus G-Spot and the Vamp Gianni are designed especially for hitting the right spot. The handheld, stainless-steel Njoy Pure Wand is also great for targeting and stimulating your G-Spot or prostate.

Doubles Anyone?

Double your fun with a dildo for two. Double dildos can feel like an extension of yourself and provide wonderful sensations especially while thrusting. They’re ideal for gender play and for feeling more connected to your partner.

The Fun Factory Wave has a unique flexible center, perfect for sharing with a friend. If one of you wants to be in the active role, try a Tantus Feeldoe or the Fun Factory Share.  These are designed to be held in place by your Kegel muscles while you have anal or vaginal intercourse with your partner. They can be used with or without a harness.

Check out this great video of the debut of the Fun Factory Stronic at the Museum of Sex in New York City

The best BJs begin with the brain. Both of you should be turned on for a good BJ. Build up the tension with dirty talk. Get your mouth warmed up with a hot makeout session.

How should you incorporate using your hands?

Use your hands to add friction. Hold the base of his cock to control the pace of the action. Use a finger to stimulate his perineum. Or, if you’ve negotiated it, slip a lubricated finger or two in his ass, to stimulate his prostate directly.

What about the balls?

Most guys like their balls being cupped during a blowjob. You can also use a finger or two to put pressure on the perineum (the taint) for an external prostate massage. If you press on this, you can really enhance a man’s orgasm.

Do you have to deep throat?

No, it’s not necessary. A lot of people want to learn how to deep throat, and it can be an amazing feeling for both partners. The secret is to position yourself to follow the natural curve of his cock, with the natural curve of your throat. Try it first with him on his back and you on your side. Keep your hand on the base of his cock to go at your own pace. Swallow when you feel like you have reached your limit which will help to go further and widen your throat. Don’t deep throat with a  full stomach. You can also simulate the sensation of deep throat by using a masturbation sleeve to stroke his shaft while sucking on the head of the penis.

Does it matter if you spit or swallow?

It’s up to you, but always negotiate this ahead of time. If you’re not fluid-bonded with a partner, use a condom.

What are some reasons that men can’t get hard, and should you push it if it’s not working?

There can be many reasons – erectile dysfunction, using alcohol and drugs, stress or exhaustion.  Sometimes, even if he’s in the mood, his penis isn’t. Never push. Move on to other things. Don’t make a big deal about it.

What’s the single best tip for giving great head?

The best BJs are really great hand jobs. Most guys need more friction than you can create with your mouth, so a great blowjob is often a combination of using your hand to tug on the penis while adding sensation and suction with your mouth.

You can start out with a lubed hand massaging the labia to help “wake up” the area. To understand the sensitivity of different areas, remember that the labia is similar to the shaft of a man’s penis and the clit is similar to the head of a penis. The labia responds to firm pressure, sucking, and light biting. You can also use the labia to massage the clit by gently pressing the lips together and kneading the clit between your fingers. Putting firm pressure on the mons pubis (the mound) and incorporating circular motions will also help to awake the nerves.

What should you do with the clitoris?

Some women like direct stimulation while others want indirect stimulation. In general, you should vary your licks and kisses until you find something she’s really responding to. Most women do not like a pointy hard tongue on the clit. Try flattening your tongue and using broad strokes. Don’t bite the clit. Don’t ignore the rest of the vulva. And don’t blow into the vaginal hole.

How much pressure should be applied to the vagina with the tongue?

This depends on the person but a good rule of thumb is to start off soft and apply more pressure as your progress. Pay attention to her body language. Often, when women want more they will thrust their hips towards your mouth.

What about toys? 

Toys are a great way to incorporate penetration. The most popular toy among our staff is the Pure Wand, which is perfectly designed for accessing the G-Spot. It’s also slender enough to stay out of your mouth’s way.

Should the motion of the tongue be slow or fast?

This really depends on the person, how sensitive she is and her stage of arousal. But once you’ve found the movement that works, repetition is key.

Does penetration have to happen? If so, how?

It doesn’t have to happen but it is a good idea to explore. Some women need both internal and external stimulation to be able to orgasm. Start with a wet or lubed finger at the opening. If she responds well, insert two fingers and curl up towards her belly button, where the G-Spot lives. A firm “come hither” motion (or milking the G-Spot) is a good way to access that tissue and excite those nerves.

Any other cunnilingus tips?

A big misconception is that people should write the alphabet with their tongue. This is silly, because when you’re concentrating on letters in your head, you’re not paying attention to her signals in the moment. Rather than writing a poem on her clit with your tongue, think of cunnilingus as a really small blowjob. Try creating suction around the clit with your mouth and using a flat tongue to move back and forth. And, as always, enthusiasm and appreciation of a woman’s body is very important, especially during oral sex.

For more information, read Cunnilingus 101: Our Guide to Going Down. 

Star Wars XXX

If you’re a Star Wars fanatic, you might be annoyed with the inaccuracies in this film, but they’ve done a pretty good job with the look of the movie (except for Chewbacca– he’s a little disturbing). But the best part of this movie is that it’s genuinely funny at times. Tom Byron really steals the show. He’s hilarious. I found myself fast forwarding through the sex scenes to get back to the story. – Mary

Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry Series

I like this one for its personality, humor, good example of negotiation, and hot scenes that span a huge range of types of sex. It bridges education with fun, hot porn.- Victor

Chemistry 1 was the DVD that got me excited about porn! There’s an authenticity to the scenes that is super hot and fun. Tristan Taormino manages to capture real chemistry and it is fantastic. – Sarah T.

The Fashionistas

Most often, hardcore and/or kinky porn lacks context let alone storyline or plot. Fashionistas is a classic, not to mention epically filthy film that maintains a strong storyline. There’s just something in Belladonna’s eyes and smirk that makes me feel like she really loves her work. And that’s always a turn-on for someone less interested in the high-gloss, unconvincing moaning of other pornography.- Hana

Jock Itch

Forget the cheerleaders! These hot jocks get down and dirty with each other. High school fantasies fulfilled! - Karen

Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls

Queer BDSM porn with watersports, armpit worship and intensely hot performers. What’s not to like? - Lillian

 Pirates

Janine at her hottest! Dominating men and women left and right on a boat! This was the first porn film to have a red carpet premier at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. That’s old Hollywood class. –  Jess

Billy Castro Does the Mission

My fave porn ever! Billy is the sexiest! His scene with Dylan Ryan is the best in any porno I’ve watched. Rough and playful– my favorite combo! – Larkin

Sexing the Transman 

I didn’t know I would be so turned on by watching a bunch of trans dudes fingerfucking themselves, but I was! I can’t wait for part two. – Little Miss M

The Crash Pad Series

A great choice for those interested in authentic interactions and negotiations, a body and sex positive project, and a broad spectrum of scenes. I love that in any given DVD from this series, you find such a gamut of kinks, couplings, bodies, and aesthetics. – Hana

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging

One of the hottest collections of pegging action I’ve ever seen! Dylan Ryan and Wolf Hudson’s scene shows it all– including the communication that makes pegging successful. Also, Christian is taking it up the ass from Jada Fire? And Jiz Lee nails a scene with Mickey Mod? What’s not to love?- Sarah S.

Rough Sex

This  has one of my all-time favorite scenes: a stranded Satine Phoenix getting fucked by– and abandoned by– Derrick Pierce. I love that the director includes interviews with the stars whose fantasies are being realized in these scenes. – Sarah S.

The Look

Jeff Stryker! Jeff is a fucking genius when it comes to dirty talk. I love anything with him in it. It’s the type of porn you can watch with your pals and laugh at the ridiculous dialogue, but then after they leave, you can totally jerk off to it. Je t’aime Jeff Stryker! – Larkin

Alice in Wonderland: An Adult Musical Comedy

It’s got a musical number called “What’s a Nice Girl Doing On a Knight Like This?” Need I say more? This is a masterpiece of camp. – Kate

Damon and Hunter: Doing It Together

I love the story line in this video. The characters are very developed. It’s nice to gay see male porn with a more developed plot. – ACE

Behind the Green Door

The storyline involves abduction and forced sex, but it’s done in a caring and liberating way that is common in 70s porn. It also has the longest, most psychedelic cumshot of all time. It’s the kind of thing you could play on repeat at a party. – Mary

Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes

What happens when you introduce Jiz Lee and Syd Blakovich (of Crash Pad fame) to America’s rough fucking sweetheart Belladonna? Hardcore, no holds barred, super hot strap on sex complete with choking, biting, foot play and squirting. April Flores and Jiz Lee’s scene alone is worth the price of admission. Porn perfection. – Lillian

Incubus 

It’s very male. It’s very hot. The men are solid! – Still Ticking

Sailor Softskin Packer

Designed by sex educators, the Sailor Softskin Packer  is soft and lifelike to the touch, but firm on the inside. Whether tucked into a pair of jeans, or worn with packing underwear like the Rodeoh or the SpareParts Pete Trunks, this packer can be worn daily or whipped out for special occasions.

Transform Full Triangle Breast Forms

These soft, firm Transform Full Triangle Breast Forms  have a symmetrical design, making them ideal for most figure types. The triangle shape has a full front profile and a curved back to conform and fit snugly against the chest wall. These can be worn in most full figure bras or in special prosthetic bras with built-in pockets.

Go Girl

Go Girl was designed  to make public peeing more convenient, by freeing female-bodied people to urinate while standing up. This also makes it a popular choice for many trans men. The Go Girl is a reusable, fold-up silicone cup. It’s easy to clean and portable, so you can take it anywhere, from public restrooms to portapotties.

Transform Gaff

The thong-style  Transform Gaff is designed to help smooth and flatten the lower body, enhancing gender expression for many trans women. Made of 93% soft nylon and 7% stretchy spandex, this garment fits snugly and discreetly. It can be worn under most panties, pantyhose or other garments without showing through. Transform also makes binding tape helpful for trans men in flattening the chest.

Pumping Cylinders

Pumping products use suction to draw blood into body tissue, stretching and enlarging it, while enhancing sensitivity. Popular with sensation players and BDSM practitioners, pumping is also useful for many trans people. A simple kit consists of a pump, a hose and cylinders that can be used to enhance specific parts of the body. Trans women who want to develop their chests can use an accessory like this Breast Pump Cylinder , while trans men who want to enhance the size of the clitoral tissue can use a Clit Cylinder.

Snake Bite Kit

The Snake Bite Kit is a great, inexpensive alternative to pumping systems. It can be used to enhance the size and sensitivity of nipples or to enlarge the clitoris. As a bonus, it could save your life if you’re ever bitten by a rattlesnake.

Riding Crop

“He walks round me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind… against my sex.”

Cumfy Cuffs

“He produces some leather cuffs from his back pocket and reaches around me. This is it. Where’s he going to take me this time?”

Smartballs

“…the balls weigh down inside me, massaging me internally. It’s such a weird feeling and not entirely unpleasant. In fact, my breathing accelerates as I stretch up for a glass from the kitchen cabinet, and I gasp. Oh my… I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.”

Ultra Blindfold

“He reaches down, lifts my chin, and plants a soft wet kiss on my lips before slipping the blindfold over my eyes.”

Rhinestone Glamour Cuffs

“Handcuffs! We’ve never used handcuffs. I glance quickly and nervously at the bed. Where the hell is he going to attach those?”

Njoy Pure Plug

“He moves one of his hands from my hips and twists the plug again, tugging it slowly, pulling it out and pushing it back in. The feeling is indescribable, and I think I’m going to pass out on the table.”

Hitachi Magic Wand

“He plants soft wet kisses on my shoulder as he withdraws his fingers from me, and moves the wand down. It oscillates over my stomach, my belly, onto my sex, against my clitoris. Fuck, it’s intense.”

“What am I going to do? I want him, but on his terms? I just don’t know. Perhaps I should negotiate what I want. Go through that ridiculous contract line by line and say what is acceptable and what isn’t.”

For more information on BDSM, be sure to check out our selection of instructional books, including the excellent SM101.